


One Hundred Sleepless Nights

by xXdark_passengerXx



Series: Crazy, Stalker, Obsessive Shizuo [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Inspired by You (TV 2018), M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, crazy shizuo, obsessive shizuo, therapist izaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25072372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXdark_passengerXx/pseuds/xXdark_passengerXx
Summary: ❝i might be holding on too tight, but there's a beast in my heart and he won't let you leave alive❞--"I'm Izaya Orihara," he introduced, a sly smile on his face. "In case it wasn't obvious yet, I'll be your therapist for your anger problems."Shizuo was told to take a seat, but he saw the challenging look in Izaya's eyes. He knew he caught the other's interests and he loved that. He thought of all the ways he could bring some more attention to himself to make Izaya see him more than just a client. They were more than this, Shizuo knew that. His heart had never quickened for anyone else, so Izaya had to be of some significance.So, he stayed standing, openly refusing to follow Izaya's instructions. He could see some of the amusement on Izaya's face, and the blond nearly smiled. So far, things were going perfectly.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Series: Crazy, Stalker, Obsessive Shizuo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815814
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	One Hundred Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> hiya! so this fic is dedicated to a guest user :) the idea of this is mostly the same as my other book, but the two arent directly related

  
Shizuo couldn't lie, he was nervous.

At the moment, he sat at a table in a random fast-food joint. Kasuka didn't eat out very much, so when he asked Shizuo to meet him here for lunch, Shizuo's nerves took off.

He wasn't sure what Kasuka was going to talk about, but he didn't think it would be anything too good. He tried ignoring Kasuka's reasonings behind their meeting, but whenever he managed to forget for a moment, he would remember the news he had to tell Kasuka. Neither was pleasant.

"Shizuo."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Shizuo watched as Kasuka sat across from him with his usual deadpan face. He tried forming a smile, but he knew he looked awkward if not creepy.

"Hi," he greeted, his feet tapping the floor relentlessly. He wasn't one to get nervous, but he was about to disappoint his brother; he hated the look in Kasuka's eyes whenever he told him about his anger mishaps.

"I've been meaning to speak with you," Kasuka started, eyeing Shizuo from top to bottom. "But you seem nervous. Is there something on your mind?"

"I got fired from my job," he blurted out, the _again_ hanging in the air. He shifted his eyes away from Kasuka, looking at the surface of the table instead. "Some guy at the bar got too drunk and he was acting all stupid. I got angry, and I—"

He didn't need to continue, so he didn't. The look of understanding appeared on Kasuka's face. Shizuo hated it.

"You know," Kasuka quickly spoke, and Shizuo assumed it was because he saw the self-deprecation slowly make its way to Shizuo's face. "I wanted to speak to you about your violent streaks, too."

Even his brother was fed up with him. Rightfully so, but still. He knew Kasuka would get mad.

"I think I have a solution for it."

Shizuo's head shot up at that, staring at Kasuka wide-eyed as he searched his brother's face for any implications of a lie. He didn't find any, and he knew he wouldn't; his brother wasn't a liar.

Then the words really sunk in. There couldn't be a solution, Shizuo came to that realization long ago.

He tried keeping the doubts off his face, but Kasuka must've seen it. "I really do. One thing we haven't tried is therapy."

"Therapy?" he questioned, not even bothering to cover up how unrealistic it all seemed. "I can throw three cars across the city with one hand, and you think therapy is going to fix that?"

"Well, in a sense," his brother tried explaining. "I think it will stop you from _throwing_ cars. A therapist can help you deal with your anger so you wouldn't feel the need to act out on violence."

"I don't know, Kasuka—"

"Please, Shizuo." Kasuka had never looked so desperate— then again, he didn't let his face express his feelings for him very often.

He felt bad for always disappointing his brother, especially when the latter tried so hard to help. Maybe he could go to a few sessions so Kasuka would be satisfied. He would go a few times, prove it was no help, and Kasuka wouldn't bother him about this and he wouldn't be upset with Shizuo.

With a sigh, he tried giving a reassuring smile. "I'll think about it."

—

It seemed like his brother didn't give him a choice. He stared down angrily at the text on his phone, Kasuka telling him that he booked him an appointment for today at one. That was only in a half hour.

He had driven to the place, not really sure what to expect. He was angry, but he couldn't blame his brother. He wouldn't have even gone to this appointment— he would rather willingly tear down the building, but he didn't want to upset his brother any further. In a desperate attempt to maintain Kasuka's faith in him, he decided to go to this one session.

He was still furious, and he was sure that showed as he walked up to the receptionist, his hands in his pockets. She asked for his name, to which he growled, "Shizuo Heiwajima."

She told him to hold on for a moment, but he couldn't wait a second. His fists clenched in his pockets as he scowled, unable to keep the fury from running in his veins.

"I have an appointment," he snapped, not bothering to keep the harshness out of his voice. He felt no remorse when she flinched. "Where the hell is the therapist?"

With a shaky hand, she pointed to a door to his left, and he made his way towards it without another word. He stared at the door, taking in the name _Orihara_ written across it. There was something about that name that set fire to Shizuo's mind. He shook it off as his weird thoughts, going into the room without knocking.

As soon as he stepped into the room, he froze. Behind the desk sat a man. He seemed normal for a split second with his raven hair and common surname, but then Shizuo really looked at him. The man was perfect beyond explanation.

Shizuo didn't know what it was, but he felt drawn to the man. Orihara was in the middle of writing something down, but then he looked up, a smile on his lips. The smile was something else; it was beautiful, no doubt about it, but he could see the ease behind it. It wasn't genuine, it was what he showed everyone every day. Shizuo wanted his real smile, one exclusive to only him.

He tried pushing those thoughts aside as he stepped into the room, but the closer he got to Orihara, the more he wanted to hold him. It was strange, Shizuo had never felt like this to anyone before. It was like he was a new person— he wasn't angry, he wasn't thinking right. Then again, he was never so good at the thinking part.

"So," Orihara began speaking, standing up as he did so, "It's great to meet you."

When he heard the man's voice, Shizuo nearly locked the door behind him. He didn't want anyone else hearing how alluring Orihara's voice was.

"Could you close the door behind you?" Orihara asked, his smile growing as Shizuo followed his order immediately, more than glad to shut the door. He felt like he would do anything to keep everyone away from this man.

"You must be the guy with anger issues."

His hand on the door handle tightened at his words. He almost forgot about the reason why he was here, and while it was true he didn't feel angry at all anymore, he had to show that he really did have problems. If he didn't, he wouldn't be able to see Orihara anymore, and that would make things difficult.

For a brief moment, Shizuo did think about how absurd this all was, but he couldn't seem to care. All he knew was that the man in the room with him was the person Shizuo had always wanted in his life.   
  
When he turned around to face Orihara, he saw that one of the latter's brows was raised, his arms crossed as he took in the sight of Shizuo.

"I'm Izaya Orihara," he introduced, no trace of his initial surprise on his face. Instead, his smile was back up. "In case it wasn't obvious yet, I will be your therapist for your anger problems. Your brother's told me some things."

Shizuo stayed silent as he studied Izaya's figure, watching his every move. He wasn't sure if the latter was aware or not, but he told Shizuo to take a seat as he sat behind his desk.

Shizuo saw the challenging look in Izaya's eyes. He knew he caught the other's interest and he loved that. He thought of all the ways he could bring some more attention to himself. He had to make Izaya see him more than just a client. They were more than this, Shizuo knew that. His heart had never quickened for anyone else, so Izaya had to be of some significance.

So, he stayed standing, openly refusing to follow Izaya's instructions. He could see some of the amusement on Izaya's face, and the blond nearly smirked. So far, things were going perfectly.

"All right, sure," Izaya spoke up, his smile turning into something less innocent— something more sharp. "Stay as you are. This is an open space, after all. Do what you're more comfortable with."

Izaya sat back in his chair as he looked up at Shizuo. The way he looked at him was captivating; his eyes shined, his smirk spoke volumes. Shizuo wouldn't have had this any other way.   
  
"So, you get angry," Izaya stated. Shizuo could see the struggle on Izaya's face as the latter tried his best to keep his curiosity and amusement down. Shizuo knew Izaya would make things difficult.

Shizuo scoffed, eyeing the ceiling before his gaze settled back down on Izaya. "Maybe."

"Usually, I wouldn't get straight to the point like this. I'd, you know, ease into it by asking some questions, but I feel like that would only make you angrier," Izaya explained.

Shizuo didn't think things could go any better. Izaya was already doing things out of the ordinary—he already saw Shizuo as someone different. He just had to keep that going.

"So I'm just going to straight up ask this question: what makes you angry?"

The answer had always been easy to think of— had always been so obvious. Yet, Shizuo couldn't remember. Izaya really did take all his rage away, and at the moment, that didn't seem like a good thing for him.

"Uh," he tried to think, he really did, "How the hell am I supposed to know? Isn't it your job to figure that out?"

"No, of course not. That's ridiculous," Izaya laughed out, and for a moment, Shizuo wanted to believe that it was genuine. "No, my job is to help _you_ realize things. Let's break it down a bit; when was the last time you got angry?"

He thought up of an answer, but he didn't try to think of a proper one. He was more focused on finding ways to make Izaya remember him.

"This morning?" Which wasn't completely false.

"Was there a reason?" Izaya asked, his elbows on the desk as he leaned forward. Shizuo could see the interest all over his face and knew that this was more than just a job for him.

"My brother," Shizuo absentmindedly responded, too focused on the way Izaya was paying so much attention to him. "He, uh, made this appointment without me knowing. I wasn't really angry though, just upset."

"Why'd it make you angry?"

"I just said it didn't!" he said through gritted teeth. He wasn't really feeling any rage at the moment, but he had no other choice except to stop this conversation. He couldn't remember why he was angry, or if he even was. All the details were out the window and he wasn't even trying to collect his thoughts; he was just thinking of ways to meet Izaya again.

"Okay, that's okay."

Izaya's voice was soothing and he suddenly understood why people came to see him. Whether Izaya was a good therapist or not, people definitely showed up to see Izaya. The thought infuriated Shizuo.

"We'll just start off smaller—"

"You," Shizuo interrupted. He didn't mean to say that Izaya was what angered him, but he was the reason why Shizuo got so mad. It may not have applied to his reasons for violence before this session, but at the moment, there was nothing more upsetting than the fact that Izaya probably saw hundreds of people a year.

"Me?" Izaya repeated, the words coming out of his mouth slow.

"You anger me."

Izaya's smirk only widened as he nodded in understanding. "I make you angry. Sure, let's go with that. How about I make you really angry?"

"That's a terrible idea," Shizuo voiced, his disdain clear in his voice. He didn't want to find a reason to be mad at Izaya. That just wasn't right.

Izaya hummed as he thought of some things. "I've heard humans tend to be the reason for your anger, so they must be why you act out. I'm not going to hit you, that would be against my ethics, but I can name call you?"

"No," Shizuo growled out, his hands coming down to the surface of the desk, slamming against the wood as he hovered over Izaya, who paid no mind.

"You're like a superhuman," he commented, before shaking his head. "No, that doesn't seem good enough. What about— oh! You wreak havoc among the city, yes? A monster. Isn't that perfect?"

"No," Shizuo repeated, his voice getting louder by the second. He hated it when people called him that, and he really didn't want to lash out at Izaya. He was supposed to find ways to make Izaya love him, not be the bane of his existence.

"But I can't go around calling you something like that, I'd get fired." Shizuo had never been happier. "Well, Shizu-chan it is!"

Shizuo supposed that was fine. In a way, it could be endearing. He doubted any client of Izaya's had ever gotten a nickname before. The thought made Shizuo smug.

Izaya must've noticed his change in attitude, something that wasn't rage, and he held his chin in his hands as he eyed Shizuo, giving him even more attention, which was exactly what Shizuo had been aiming for.

Izaya's eyes caught his, and while the man across from him might not have given it a second thought, Shizuo was screaming internally. Those eyes belonged on Shizuo and only Shizuo. No one else would ever see the shine in his eyes again, Shizuo would make sure of that.

"Do you want to get better?"

The question made him freeze. His mind was blank, once again, completely useless. Did Izaya already see through his lies? Was he really making it that obvious? Shizuo couldn't afford that, he had to keep Izaya invested in him. That was the only way he could get Izaya by his side.

It was a crazy thought, Shizuo knew that. He had only known Izaya for less than an hour and he already wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. The smile on Izaya's lips told him that time meant nothing; he loved Izaya as soon as he saw him. He was just so amazing in so many ways. He challenged Shizuo despite knowing about his strength. He could handle Shizuo. He was perfect for the blond.

So, to hear Izaya say something that risked all of this was terribly upsetting. "Huh?"

"Do you want to stop getting so angry?" he asked again, giving a small shrug as he kept his gaze on Shizuo, who couldn't even relish in his accomplishment of having Izaya's eyes on him. Instead, he had to think of ways to put Izaya's doubts at bay.

So, he got angry, to prove he still had issues he couldn't control.

"Obviously," he snarled, his fists clenching on the desk. He decided to sit down, thinking he would be able to show more of his anger if he were more levelled with Izaya. "Who do you—"

"I don't think you do," Izaya interrupted, and the honesty in his voice was frightening.

Shizuo began to panic as he furrowed his eyebrows, thinking of anything that could prove Izaya wrong.

"That's bull!" he scowled, the volume of his voice rising tremendously. He felt apologetic for being so loud at Izaya, but he was sure he would understand. Their future was at stake. "I hate violence!"

He does, that wasn't something he had to really lie about, but he wouldn't mind throwing all his morals out the window if it meant keeping Izaya with him. He would burn the world down for Izaya. The red-eyed man would soon see that.

He had to make Izaya believe him. He felt like he had known Izaya all his life. This was what Shizuo had been waiting for, this was why he had this strength. Since he was a child, he always saw his ability to throw streetcars as a curse, but it was more than that. With his strength, he could protect Izaya and keep him to himself. With his strength, no one could get between him or Izaya. He would make it impossible to.

"No," Izaya's voice brought him out of his thoughts, "I see the look in your eyes. You're a monster, Shizu-chan."

Were therapists even allowed to say stuff like this? Shizuo thought about their conversations throughout the session and wondered if anything Izaya had said was okay. Not a second later, Shizuo threw the question out the window. It didn't matter. It was Izaya, he could see that ethics weren't really a problem for him and his morals. He could tell Izaya didn't care if he lost his job, he would just find another one. Besides, he liked to believe that Izaya would be different just for him.

"And that's not a bad thing," Izaya added, moving his head so he could get into Shizuo's vision. The blond almost smiled at that; Izaya didn't have to try getting his attention, all he had to do was say a word. Shizuo would drop everything and come running. Shizuo turned his head back to the front to ease Izaya's neck, who continued to speak. "You just need to focus on accepting that."

Was he a monster? Shizuo didn't think so, but he would gladly become one for Izaya. Although, until the raven haired man loved Shizuo back, he couldn't let Izaya see the beast within him. That would mean their sessions would stop, and he wouldn't let that happen. Izaya was meant to be with him, he was going to prove it.

"Shut up," he hissed in a low voice, hoping to show him his issues. He thought back to the nickname Izaya gave him and decided to think one of his own. Briefly, he thought about the way Izaya pried for information and didn't let go until he had obtained what he was looking for, just like a pest. With a hidden smirk, he added, "Louse."

Izaya looked more than amused. He smiled, and Shizuo knew it was different compared to the one he had given when Shizuo had first walked in. This one was more genuine, this one was for Shizuo and only him. It was so beautiful, Shizuo never wanted to forget it, and he wouldn't let himself. How would he possibly forget if Izaya were always with him?

Izaya stood up, and Shizuo watched as he came to the realized that their session had come to an end. He didn't want to leave, but he drew the conclusion that it was probably for the best. He could go home and think of all the ways he could keep Izaya's attention on only him. He would make sure that when Izaya spoke to anyone else, he would find them boring and wish he was speaking with Shizuo instead.

"Well, that's all for today." Izaya gestured to the door, his face practically daring Shizuo to come back. "I'll see you next week."

Shizuo hoped to see him before that, and he immediately began to devise plans to see Izaya again sooner than their next session. He may not be talking to Izaya in these future meetings, but he couldn't go a day without seeing him. Besides, he had to make sure Izaya wasn't giving his smile to anyone else.

He didn't let his thoughts show on his face, instead grunting as he stood up to leave. He didn't say another word, giving no reaction to the challenge Izaya sent his way.

Once he was on the other side of the door, he no longer suppressed his smirk. Today was only the beginning.


End file.
